PoutyQL

PoutyQL is a tool I built that lets you write actual SQL against your Salesforce org. Not SOQL with its training wheels on — real SQL, with cross-object joins, window functions, and the kind of gnarly aggregates that SOQL flatly refuses to do. And it runs against your live Salesforce data, so there's no ETL pipeline to babysit and no warehouse sitting off to the side slowly drifting out of sync.

Why I built it

I've spent a lot of my career on GTM systems, which means I've spent a lot of time wrestling with SOQL. It's fine for what it is, but the moment you want something genuinely analytical — a window function to rank opportunities per account, a join across a few objects that don't share a tidy parent-child relationship, an aggregate that isn't on the short list of blessed ones — you hit a wall.

The usual escape hatch is to pipe everything into a warehouse and query it there. That works, but now you own an ETL job, a sync schedule, and a second copy of your data that's always a little bit stale. I wanted to skip all of that and just ask the question where the data already lives.

How it works

You write SQL. PoutyQL handles the rest, translating your query and running it against your org's live data. A few things that fall out of that:

• Cross-object joins that don't care whether Salesforce thinks the objects are related.

• Window functions — ranking, running totals, partitions, the stuff you reach for constantly in analytics and never had in SOQL.

• Complex aggregates that go well past what SOQL's GROUP BY will tolerate.

• No ETL, no warehouse. You're querying current data, not last night's snapshot.

Where it's headed

PoutyQL is in beta right now, which is the honest and fun part — it's real enough to use and still rough enough that I'm actively shaping it. If you've ever stared at a SOQL query wishing it were just SQL, this is for you. Take a look at poutyql.com, and I'd genuinely love to hear what breaks and what you wish it did.